Saturday, December 31, 2011

For our good sake.

We need to talk. I 've try to be patience on you. Back to the day we met, you're first impression seemed promise me a new hope, a new life, a new beginning of a bright path as you said ;

' Thru the joy or sorrow, I'll be by your side.
and I won't be far as I close to your heart '.

You did fulfill it, but as for the time being. .  Sorry. I cannot hold this anymore. Sometimes you bring me the rainbow out of the rain. I know, you are the one that I can rely on. The one that ready to hear me out, you love me the way you should and we have been together against the world. We rule the world. I really appreciate the moment when we let the time flies goes by 'coz nothing to care about if we have each other. Out of blue, you have changed so much. You are denying me, let me barely breathing for the trouble you made and the text last night ; are you trying to say you're leavin' after you left my heart broken because of you? Do you know when words hurt so much if it's from the one we love ? And thank to you, you just break it into pieces. Just trying to figure out on how to fix our problem, this morning, I saw you from a distance and you noticed my presence. Then, you tried so hard to run away from me, not even to let our eyes meet. I managed to chase after you, grab your hand and hug you so damn hard. Easily, my tears ran all the way down my cheeks. I miss the warmth of your hand, I miss your hug that reminds me ; I'm not all alone in the world as I have you, I own you. I really. . . miss you girl. I heard crying is the only way on how our eyes speak when our mouth can't explain how things made our heart broken. Correct me my love. Say something, please.

Still, you remained silent.

Slowly, you keep your hands off my body. I know, this is the time, its time to say goodbye. I stood with full of strength and brave upon seeing you are leaving until you disappeared from my sight. Right now, I am half-awake. Or half-asleep. Or even better, I am awake and asleep at the same time. I try to go on like I never knew you. I need completeness and I need you but I don't because I finally realised, I do have the One and Only.

I've make a mistake, such a foolish mistake. I forget HIM even I'm full aware HE create the world, HE gives the joys and sorrows for purpose, HE made you and. . HE show the love between us before. You are real, lovable. One thing I will never ever forget about you, you taught me this sentence ( I know you quoted it from Hlovate, nevermind, its sweet though ) ; 

To live is learn, and to learn is to live
Live. Learn

But, allow me to correct it. . . anything we did,  we didn't mention HIM at the first place ! In fact, I was love you more than I love HIM ! Shame on me ! My bad. To think of it, I know. . I have spent to much time to think of you than finding myself on the prayer mat. I often lost my devote by your call, I cried because of you, instead of my accumulated sins to HIM, I even rather to find you than HIM ! Enough is enough. We can't buy time, back to the past and make it perfect. As a Muslim believer, I believe, taubah awaits me, Ad-Deen awaits me, a new me as a truly Muslim awaits me. Yeah, life throws me curves but I've learned to swerve. HE always tell me in Al-Matrhurat recitation ;

Well, deep inside, I'm still not believe the time is up. YOU have come to the very end. So, here comes goodbye. Sayonara 2011. Thanks for everything.

Bon Voyage. 

P/s   : Another 365 passed by. Brace yourself, a leap year is coming in your way.

P/ss : She/Her ;  refer to year 2011. Don't get confuse, this entry is just another kind of my expression towards 2011. Mind these term = analogy :)


  1. finally. you did.

  2. @TB : takashima ?

    @anon : yeah, it feels just like yesterday I was celebrating year 2011 with my friends and now it comes to the end~

  3. too good for an analogy..

  4. i'll....take it as compliment~